Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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