it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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