If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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