just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
