Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to make out with him forever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize