it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
