Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize