Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
