The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
