Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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