am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
