one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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