Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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