I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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