hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
