As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
