plz talk dirty to me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
