i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
