Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
