Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
