Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Are we still banned from the library?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
