plz talk dirty to me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
