AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
