Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
People in love make me want to vomit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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