I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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