it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
