I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
