my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize