I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize