I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
