I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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