Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
