I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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