i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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