Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
