he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
