I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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