I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
