I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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