Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
