Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will pee on everything he values.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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