Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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