So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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