So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
