i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
