so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
