I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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