Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
