I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
