I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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