what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
