What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize