What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
