come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
sex in a hospital.. check
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
