If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
