If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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