i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
