lets start a swedish sibling band together
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
