You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize