i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
