btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
