He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
