Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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