how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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