Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
