i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is wine microwaveable?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
