Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
